PHP: Sad Poem :(

PHP-General – Martin Alterisio
A sad poem of an algorithm where solitude brought excessive use of cpu
cycles and memory allocation for redundant data (it copied over and over
again the same image till all memory was filled with it)


$timeWaiting = 0;
while (!$you->near($me)) {
$me->thinkAbout($you);

switch (true) {
case $timeWaiting < 5:
$me->wait($you);
break;

case $timeWaiting < 10:
$me->worry();
break;

case $timeWaiting < 20:
$me->lookFor($you);
break;

case $timeWaiting < 40:
$me->worry();
$me->lookFor($you);
break;

case $timeWaiting < 80:
$me->worry();
$me->cry();
$me->lookFor($you);
$me->lookFor($you);
$me->lookFor($you);
break;

case $timeWaiting < 160:
$me->worry();
$me->cry();
$me->drink();
$me->lookFor($you);
$me->lookFor($you);
$me->lookFor($you);
$me->thinkAbout($you);
$me->thinkAbout($you);
$me->cry();
$me->lookFor($you);
$me->lookFor($you);
$me->drink();
$me->drink();
break;

default:
throw new CantLiveWithoutYou();
die("alone");
}

$timeWaiting++;
}

$me->happy = true;

[tags] php, sad, poem, php-general, mailing, list, funny [/tags]