Men Rules!

We always hear “the rules” from the female side, Now here are the rules from the male side.

  • Please note… these are all numbered “1” – ON PURPOSE!
  • Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don’t try to change that
  • Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
  • aturday = sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
  • hopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
  • Crying is blackmail.
  • Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
    • Subtle hints do not work!
    • Strong hints do not work!
    • Obvious hints do not work!
    • JUST SAY IT!

  • Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question
  • Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do.
    Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for
  • A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor
  • Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
    In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days
  • If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us
  • If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
  • You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done
    • Not both
    • If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself

  • Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials
  • Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we
  • ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
    • Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
    • We have no idea what a mauve is.

  • If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
  • If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle
  • If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear
  • When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine, Really
  • Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as:
    • Sex, Sport, or Cars

  • You have enough clothes
  • You have too many shoes
  • I am in shape. Round is a shape.
  • Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
    couch tonight, but did you know men really don’t mind that, it’s like camping.
  • Pass this to as many men as you can – to give them a laugh.
  • Pass this to as many women as you can – to give them an education